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I immediately looked up at him. ‘You serious?’ I hadn’t expected it to be so easy, Steve had looked extremely hurt. He smiled at me, nodding, which made me smile automatically as well. An enormous amount of weight seemed to have fallen of my shoulders and happiness filled my mind. I suddenly felt the strong urge to get up, have a seat at Steve’s lap, swing my arms around his muscular neck and press my lips firmly against his. But, naturally, I didn’t. Oh wait, I did. That very moment I lost control about myself. Just like that one time when I had drank too much scotch and experienced one of the greatest nights of my life and definitely the most awkward morning. I moved one of my hands to cup Steve’s flawless cheek, while our lips moved in sync. 

The exact thing I was hoping for happened. But just when I was about to deepen the kiss, Steve pulled away. His face was red and flustered, while I could’ve lasted way longer without breath. I stared into his bright blue eyes, but Steve snatched that gorgeous moment from me. ‘You know that meant more for me than just a kiss. If you only want me for the sex, we can forget the kiss and move on as friends. But if you’re in to the kind of relationship I want, you have to tell me now. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from falling in love with you,’ he said, looking way to serious for my liking. I suddenly felt much less comfortable on the older boy’s lap. ‘I...’ I murmured. My thoughts were running around in my head like crazy. I didn’t want to be ‘just friends’, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand that. But to be in an actual relationship? What if he would want to ‘take things slow’? I breathed shakily at that thought. Like, I’d only be allowed to fuck – or get fucked – by him and then he wouldn’t. The horror! I’d never been in an actual relationship... ‘I don’t know,’ I sighed. Before he could even respond, I shot into defence. ‘Look, Steve, you have to understand. This would be the first time I’d be involved in anything like this, okay?’ I babbled. ‘I’m just... scared, I guess,’ I whispered as soft as possible.

I willingly let him get that close to me, not caring what other people thought of us. I let my chin rest on his shoulder and felt the comforting warmth radiating from his perfect body. I studied the various flowers behind the bench while Steve was talking. His words made me feel like the happiest human being on earth, my whole body tingled and a smile was plastered to my face. At that exact moment though, I felt miserable. I felt scared, nervous and downright uncomfortable. How could one I’d just met already care that much? I lifted my chin and now rested my forehead on his shoulder, just like he did. The happy feeling seemed to chase the depressing thoughts away, after some time, but this demanding thought kept on shining through. He wouldn’t be lying, would he? Steve didn’t look like someone to do that – I would know -, but still. There’d been enough people who’d only been nice to me because they’d needed something. Considering every single detail that this would bring, I stayed silent for a while. Then I spoke up: ‘I guess... we could try.’ My voice was still soft and I sounded insecure, but then I regained some strength. I sat up, now able to look Steve straight in his eyes. ‘Yes, we could try. We should try,’ I said and a grin appeared on my face. 

A fluttery feeling build up in my chest, when Steve kissed me. I didn’t know exactly how this relationship-thing would turn out, but so far I liked it. I was pleasantly surprised when Steve softly nipped my bottom lip. I couldn’t help but smile a little in the kiss, but I did let his tong slip into my mouth. Then I suddenly realised something: I’d always loved rough sex and kisses, this kiss, though, calm and fluffy, was amazing. It was better than any other kiss I’d ever gotten. Steve’s soft lips seemed to fit perfectly on mine as they stayed attached for quite some time. My left hand rested on Steve’s hard chest and my other caressed his cheek. I then pulled away. 'Let's get to the room again,' I said softly.

For hours I was tossing and turning in my bed. No matter what I tried,I couldn’t fall asleep. Something was bugging me, I just didn’t know what. At one point I felt terribly hot and at another I was shivering. I turned on my back en stared at the ceiling. My eyes followed every crack in it, probably caused by the expanding of the material of which the ceiling was made from. In my head I ran through the stuff we’d learned about molecules. It was quite boring, but easy as fuck. I then turned to my side. I could now have a look at the silently snoring bump that was Steve Rogers. Then there suddenly popped an idea in my head. I slowly stood up, wearing only pyjama trousers, and tiptoed towards Steve’s bed. There was enough space for two people, at least, in my opinion. I very calmly got in next to Steve and immediately I felt more comfortable. I snuggled into his side, smiling, and quickly fell asleep.

I slowly opened my eyes, but immediately closed them again, enjoying Steve’s kiss. I tilted my head to the side to give him better access. The Steve pulled away, though, and I opened my eyes again. I smiled when I noticed his face so close to mine. I too had been aware of our anniversary. I had wanted to plan something, but Steve kept on saying it wasn’t necessary. ‘I know, right? It feels like I’ve known you, like, my whole life. And, you know what? I had some serious doubts about this, but it’s turned out well. I like being around you, too, Steve. You’re just... perfect.’ I whispered the last part, though I was sure Steve had understood it. With one hand I reached up to Steve’s head and I intertwined my hands with his hair. He was perfect, real fucking perfect.

I forgot everything I wanted to say when he kissed me. I loved his kisses; I was practically addicted to them. For what felt to be the zillionth time I stared in his gorgeous blue orbs. I knew every single little speck in them, every small colour difference. I sighed a little. ‘I don’t want to go,’ I cried. ‘Can’t we skip today? It’s boring and easy and just... crappy. I want to be with you!’ I pouted to strengthen my words and widened my eyes a bit.